Was it subspace? Truly? Having never been to that mythical horizon before, I can’t be certain. Continue reading
Achievement Unlocked? – Subspace
06 Sunday Nov 2016
06 Sunday Nov 2016
Was it subspace? Truly? Having never been to that mythical horizon before, I can’t be certain. Continue reading
20 Thursday Oct 2016
Posted Journal
in08 Monday Aug 2016
Posted Assignment, Thoughts to push around or stomp out
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03 Wednesday Aug 2016
Posted Journal
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27 Wednesday Jul 2016
Recently, Rigger and I had a conversation via text about some things we each like to share online.
I publicly write stories here, on my adults-only blog, some of which are based on true events or desires. I also sometimes share a few of my actual experiences and thoughts. I’ve been doing this for over a year now. I enjoy writing, and, based on my followers, I’d say that some people like reading what I post. When I want to target an exclusive audience, I password protect my posts and give those few people the passwords.
Rigger dabbles a bit in writing, but more often he shares music and NSFW photographs. In many of his kinky pics, I am the model.
Lately, he and I have both been expanding our polyamorous and kinky circles. When we recently talked about setting some limits as we date and play with other partners, one of the limits we discussed had to do with public posts. Rigger originally asked me, if one of my posts was about another partner, to password protect it, so that he couldn’t read it, and to not give him the password. I thought this was reasonable, so I agreed.
Then I went home and thought about it. I realized I had no similar protection against seeing his picture posts of his time with other partners. Suddenly, his request didn’t feel fair. I have this deeply-seeded need for fairness, equality, and honesty in my relationships. So I started trying to fit things neatly into a box. I tried to set a limit similar to his. I asked him to do one of two things, either to not post pics of other partners where I could see them, or to stop posting pics of me, and I wouldn’t look at his kinky posting site anymore.
But Rigger changed his mind about his request. He said I should post whatever I want and to simply let him know if it’s a post that he might not want to read.
So now my request was unfair.
This is the problem with trying to maintain perfect equality. Nothing is perfect. Something will always be unfair. Setting rules or limitations, even agreed-upon ones, is a trap that can lead to argument, insecurity, and, possibly, betrayal of trust.
I can’t have perfect equality, because our expressive mediums are different. I can’t have perfect equality, because WE are different people. I can’t have perfect anything, because perfect doesn’t exist.
I can set my own personal boundaries, but I cannot set them on others.
Rigger actually established a very good boundary, while we were discussing this subject. He told me that if he saw BDSM marks on me from time with other Doms/Tops, then he probably would not be able to play with me until those marks were gone. It’s nothing against me, and nothing against my Topping partner(s). It’s a personal psychological boundary for him. It’s a boundary for which I have no equivalent. Sure, I could try to think up a similar boundary, but why bother? His time with others doesn’t infringe upon my time with him, unless he wears himself out while playing with another bottom/sub. If THAT ever happens, then we’re gonna have words. And, so far, that hasn’t happened.
And so I make my choices. I choose not to let others mark me in any way that will not heal overnight. I choose not to have pictures taken of me without my full knowledge and consent. I choose which pictures of me may be posted on his site. I choose not to look at Rigger’s kinky picture page. If there’s a picture of his work with another sub that he thinks I would like to see, then he can show it to me personally. I choose to post on my blog as I always have, and I decide which posts to password protect, based on my desired audience. I choose to love and share love with several, rather than one. It may not be very submissive, but it is me.
14 Thursday Jul 2016
Posted Humorous, Journal, Thoughts to push around or stomp out
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30 Thursday Jun 2016
Posted Storytime
inSipping an early evening bourbon, The Dragon pondered and planned. He found it both adorable and frustrating, that his Dove didn’t recognize her own charms. Her personal history and experience with others had led her down a path of…insecurity about herself, her appearance, her talents. But he thought he had a way to help her see herself in a better light…. Continue reading
27 Friday May 2016
Posted Humorous, Journal, Thoughts to push around or stomp out
inTags
FYI, this rambles a bit from one subject right into a second. But the two are sort of tied together, so… Continue reading
22 Sunday May 2016
Tags
Written about mid-May…
Well, this is an interesting turn of events!
I’ve been on that online dating thing for a while, looking for another connection. Been chatting with a few men, gone on a couple of dates. Well, something I didn’t expect – though I had wondered about it – has come into play… Continue reading
02 Monday May 2016
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This weekend was a step in the right direction for me, I think. Continue reading