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Being poly for a little over two years, I’ve definitely found joy in loving more than one. Even my closest monogamous friends who have known me both when I was monogamously married and since I’ve been polyamorously dating, have noticed how much happier I am now than before. And I have to say that I’m a very lucky woman in not only my paramours, but also my metamours.
When I started venturing into the poly world, I only knew that I wanted any metamours to know about and condone my dating their partners. But I didn’t expect friendship. I was too new to the poly scene to know how I myself would be able to handle poly dynamics, let alone expect someone else to handle every aspect with such aplomb. Luckily, my first and my subsequent steady metamours have all been absolutely wonderful women who have given me support, taught me, and befriended me beyond what I ever expected. I’m friendly with all of them and close friends with most of them.
But this blog post is about one of them in particular. And, despite this being what famous poly-podcasters Minx and Lusty Guy would call a “Happy Poly Moment,” I can almost guarantee that I’ll be crying by the end of writing this post.
I have referred to her several times in past posts as Sis. A funny comment about our relationship – she and I started out as metamours through my Primary partner Rigger (male). However, we are currently metamours through her Primary partner and husband, Twist (male). Not only have I been dating Twist for more than a year, but Rigger and I have also joined Twist and Sis at several family-friendly outings and gatherings as well as for a couple of double dates. Though Sis and I are very different in a few core personality traits, we are similar in tastes, geekiness, D/s identifications, and even shoe size! Sis and I have become good friends over time.
Now this is where I become sappy.
So far late 2016 and 2017 have not been kind to me and my children. Due to some ex spouse drama and one VERY poor career choice, I’ve changed jobs twice within less than six months. Also because of these things, I’ve had to move my small family, downsizing into a smaller apartment. And although I’ve done my best to stay strong, positive, and enthusiastic in front of my kids, both trials have had serious affects on me, physically and emotionally.
The job hopping came first, of course. And I tried to succeed! I really tried to find a new, better-paying career path. But I couldn’t do it. I sent out resume after resume with no success. So my self esteem and confidence took a serious hit. I was finally desperate enough to admit I couldn’t do this alone. But I knew that Sis could help. In fact, the help that I needed was something that she did professionally. I asked for her assistance, promising to do what I could to compensate her for her work. Little had I known that she’d been wanting to aid me in my job search, for some time. She’d just been waiting, hoping, for me to ask, as she hadn’t wanted to presume (probably knowing how stubborn I can be about doing by myself).
New job acquired. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to rescue my family and me from the financial straits that that bad career choice had put us into. So I had to move myself and my two kids into a much smaller apartment. Having to purge my belongings, throw away memories because there simply wasn’t room for them, was incredibly difficult and consuming of time that I didn’t have to spare. Once again, Sis came to my rescue. She came over and helped me to go through my clothes, taking away the “dated” fashion choices of my past and cutting down my wardrobe by a good half. She and Twist also helped by giving me boxes and by placing some of my purged items in their garage sale. And, like Rigger, they offered to store furniture that I didn’t have the willpower to part with forever.
So, Twist had been planning to help me with my big moving day. Unfortunately, the week before, he became ill. Well, not wanting to leave me shorthanded on such a difficult and stressful day, Sis came over, sort of in his place, to help me move. Now Twist did come and help some, along with both their beautiful kiddos. And I appreciated theirs and my Primary’s and all my friends’ help that day. But Sis was amazing! I knew she would be better at staging the furniture into the moving truck than I would be. So I asked her to be in charge of that. She took the reins and maximized that truck space so that almost everything made it to the new apartment in one trip! And then, with another friend of mine, she helped get me moved in and unpacked at the new place.
Seeing her sitting on the floor of my new closet, neatly organizing and folding away my winter clothes, doing everything she could to help me get settled into the new space before she would go back home to Twist and the kiddos, and remembering every happy poly moment I’d had with her since we’d first met, Sis suddenly changed in my heart from metamour and friend to family. It was something that both she and Twist had said to me in the past. But having her help during what was, for me, such a difficult time, made me feel closer to her than I am to my actual sisters. That was the moment that she became a sister-by-heart. She and Twist have made me feel like I have family close by again.